男女在愛情長跑裡的十種變化

saw this at a friend of a friend's blog and thought it was so funny so i ripped it off, muahaha.

男女在愛情長跑裡的十種變化


《相戀一個月，女友像月亮》
不少男人著迷這個階段，認為這時候的女人最有女人味，嬌柔而溫暖，關係也如月亮光暈一般，朦朧恍惚引人陶醉，就連躺在床上盯著天花板也能看見她月亮似的笑容照拂自己。

《相戀一個月，男友是侍從》
大多數的女人認為男人看上自己，是因為年輕美貌，此舉令女人們不悅，因此她們常製造難題考驗男人，讓男人就像侍從般給予百般呵護，且此時的女人為了不讓男人覺得考驗"不值得"，在舉止上氣質幽雅、打扮上風華絕代，讓男人們有如身在朦朧月光下，令人陶醉。

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《相戀二個月，女友是明星》
經過了初識時閉塞式的癡迷及烘托，男人會開始帶著女友四處見人，一來昭告親朋不再孤單 ，二來藉機維護及表現，好拉攏女友還不明確的方心。

《相戀二個月，男友像太陽》
經過艱難的試煉和辛苦的考驗之後，女人相信男人們的"真心"，於是開始將心交予，此時的女人就像小鳥一樣依附在男人身邊，享受著如太陽般的溫暖，並滿心期待下次黎明的到來....

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《相戀半年後，女友如花瓶》
經過半年的交往，關係堪稱確定，參與任何聚會都有她陪伴，少了她就像少了什麼一樣，這時候女友的功能就如花瓶或伴手禮，既美觀、實惠又受歡迎。

《相戀半年後，男友如新衣》
經過半年的交往，關係堪稱確定，參與任何聚會都有他陪伴，逢人就介紹引見，就像買了一件新衣向親友們炫耀般，希望尋得羨慕及認同。

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《相戀十個月，女友變大姐》
男人的衝勁足夠、幹勁還行，耐性就差了，在癡迷、維護及表現過後，往往就現出了原形、流露了本性，需要女友隨時提醒並代為觀前想後，以及擬定生活計劃。

《相戀十個月，男友變小弟》
此時女人跟男人相處已經夠久，漸漸發現男人的彈性已隨著時間而趨於疲乏，於是開始看不慣男人在日常生活上的鬆懈與怠慢，像個大姊一樣的隨時提醒並為其觀前想。

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《相戀一年，女友變老媽》
男人在生疏的女人面前，是大男人的，但在親密的女人跟前，卻很小男人，小到令女友不放心他的衣食住行，不放心他的人情交際，不放心他的工作情況，而不時叮嚀、隨時關心。

《相戀一年，男友變兒子》
此時男人已開始習慣依賴這個身邊的她，而女人也開始發揮光輝的母性，如同對待兒子般的叮嚀囑咐加諸在男人身上，不放心他的衣食住行，不放心他的人情交際，不放心他的工作情況...但是此時的女人在較陌生的男人面前依舊是小女人般希望被疼愛......

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《相戀兩年後，女友像頭獅》
男女原就互補，既然女人細膩敏感，男人自然粗心大意，將這番粗心大意帶進愛情裡，細膩敏感的女人那裡受的了，於是河東獅吼的情形就常發生了。

《相戀兩年後，男友像木頭》
既然男人粗心大意，女人自然細膩敏感，將這番細膩敏感帶進愛情裡，粗心大意的男人哪能承受的住...於是只好繼續當根遲鈍的木頭，假裝什麼事都沒有發生過。

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《相戀過三年，獅子變蝨子》
當過了威風的獅子，女人在威嚴漸失的男人心裡，必然逐漸縮小為討厭的蝨子，搔得男人渾身發癢通體難受，巴不得能儘快清除，偏偏蝨子是很難對付的。

《相戀過三年，木頭變石頭》
男人在木頭的時期，女人並不會因為男人遲鈍而鬆懈，相反的卻更積極的敲打著木棒，木棒經過經驗值的累積，因而進化成了石頭，只為了應付更惡劣的環境。

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《相戀逾四年，女友似Pizza》
初戀時，女友一通電話，男人就飛奔而至，認為女友的召喚是莫大的榮幸，四年一過情勢隨即逆轉，男人有什麼事懶得去辦，就召喚女友代勞，隨叫隨辦，而且免費。

《相戀逾四年，男友似垃圾》
初戀時，男人在女人眼裡什麼都好，懂電器、會修理、好運動，近乎十項全能.....四年一過，如同垃圾般隨處可挑破洞缺陷，不值一提。

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《相戀五年餘，盼望變幅畫》
男女相處久了，雖未結婚，也跟老夫老妻一樣了，這時著重感官享受的男人心思必起倦怠會但願愛情就如一幅畫那般，懸在牆上，想看時看看不想看時就釘在那兒，不會隨時跟來。

《相戀五年餘，視之如雞肋》
男女相處久了，雖未結婚，也跟老夫老妻一樣了，這時女人已不再記得當初愛上這個男人的感動，只是覺得"食之無謂，棄之可惜" 且此時女人們也自覺老大不小了，不吃也沒得吃了....

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《相戀整七年》
戀愛的夢幻及美好，到此早消逝無蹤或享用殆盡，僅剩現實瑣碎的生活一旦缺了真誠少了用心，乏了溝通，關係不是猜疑緊張就是厭煩倍增。

Habanera

lol, finally fixed internet/computer problem at home. hooray! although i swear i must be plagued by gremlins lately...

anyway, a vid to celebrate! meep meep meep!

doggy breath

i have a dog sleeping in my lap as i type this, and his sprawling weight is surprisingly enjoyable, even if i strongly suspect he is drooling into my jeans as he happily dozes away.

funny how absorbed one can be just observing another sleep, the tousled fur from exhausting play (thankfully, else the little devil will still be begging for attention), the little twitches, the sudden kicks, are you chasing something small and fleeting in some red savage dream from your past?

having a puppy is like having a kid. you have to give constant attention, you worry that he bites the wires, you put up with his over-enthusiastic licking, you try to teach him right from wrong.

good thing he is not mine. i am just the babysitter ^^.

thoughts and quirks

random post. as per the title. here goes.

if there are three parking lots, and only the middle is free, i would park the same way the others are, out of some obscure fear that if i park the opposite way, the other drivers would nick my car doors. this is cos if i park the same way, i can maneuver my car such that i leave a fair bit of space for the other driver to get in without nicking my door, even if that leaves only a tiny space for me to get out. advantages of being bamboo-fat.

i drive bare-footed. i can say that it gives me more grip on the pedals, better feedback from the engine, hence fine-tuned speed control and improved fuel economy, but frankly, it's just more relaxing.

most things are relative. height-wise, some say i am tall, but compared to the average aussie, i am at most, average. similarly, some ppl think i am a good person, but there are a bunch over in malaysia who probably hate my guts. similarly, this can be applied to more general things, such as wealth, success, happiness, which are relative; values and attributes are ascribed, not absolute.

amazing how time slows down in near-death, almost-disastrous experiences. surreal how similar it is to movies (is it art imitating life or life imitating art, as in because you have seen it before, your brain is pre-conditioned to react that way). what can i say? some have achieved satori, or enlightenment in such life-changing situations , as in what is important becomes crystal- clear, i can't say that i had the same but it does confirm what i always sorta guessed. i just know that i don't panic in most situations that would faze most ppl; i just become icily detached. it's not like i block it off so there is a delayed after-effect. i just don't feel. good in some situations, maybe not so great in others (again, refer to the relative value of things).

i sometimes wonder if i have ankylosing spondylitis, or how is the heart murmur coming along, idle speculations, not that i am morbid, lol, i am content with life now, why would i want to die, still have too many things to do, shooting fireballs for one, but it's just, harmless fun to speculate along those lines when you are in good health. does that make sense?

i am lax about the use of punctuation and speeling, but the wrong use of "a" and "the" drives me nuts.

i sleep like a cat.

why is it that it seems you get more succesful hunts in Mousehunt when others sound the horn or a trap-check occurs, as compared to when you sound the horn yourself? or is it just me?

6 degrees

there was a social network website called 6degrees a few years ago, which goes on the concept that a person can be related to most anyone on this planet if you know the friend of a friend etc, kinda like a spiderweb.

so, if we go on that concept, i know miss korea 200x because my student dates her. ^^ sweet.

A pinch of salt

got this from a friend's website. it's always a bit fun doing those questions, but as always, take the answers with a pinch of salt.

edit: forgot to link the site to do the quiz. http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.quizbox.com%2Fpersonality%2Ftest82.aspx&h=6151a6ef93f0c2677b4c715c73ea5e1f

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
Analysis: You are a lying, deceptive, two faced bastard who emotionally manipulates ppl to get what you want.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
Analysis: Desperate, will grab anything that comes by.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Analysis: As serious as a rabbit in heat.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
Analysis: Bookworm, nerd, pretentious know-it-all.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
Analysis: Your career will be as exciting as dishwater.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
Analysis: Megalomaniac.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Analysis: Personaltiy of a three year old. When in doubt, throw a tantrum.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Analysis: Nosey busybody who secretly relishes being the centre of attention, you more often than not don't even know what you are saying.

A fable

There are things that people don't tell you.

For example, did you know that somewhere, far far away, in a place forgotten and so far away that it has lost its name, there is a building. Who built it, no one knows, just as the name of the building is lost to the knowledge of man. But there it stands still, and inside the building, there is a room.

And in the room, there is a cup. And the cup is different for every person, and there is one for every soul that lives.

And the cup is filled. It is filled with the spilled tears of those you have hurt, the ungratefulness you show to your parents and those who care about you, the cold indifference and callousness you treat your siblings and others with, the held-in howling loneliness that no one else knows of those you have forsaken, the petty angers and jealousies that you inflict, the uncaring selfishness that lie behind your actions, the choked-back, torn and stifled cries buried in pillows of those you have abandoned, the myriad evils of your life.

Oh, the cup brims.

But it can hold more, it can hold all the cruelty and pain you inflict.

And be certain, be very very certain, that one day you will have to drink from the cup. And it will be returned unto you tenfold.

And when it passes to you to do so, drink deep. Drink deep and do not whimper.

Post 59. Horses and Bullfighting

In Hemingway's Death in the Afternoon, he describes the tragedy that is bullfighting. He describes it as not being a sport but rather "a tragedy; the death of the bull, which is played, more or less well, by the bull and the man involved and in which there is danger for the man but certain death for the animal." It's a rather interesting book, 358 pages solely on bull-fighting. Read it, and it may change the way you think of bullfighting.

There are 3 acts in bullfighting. The first act is known as the suerte de varas, the trial of lances, where the bull charges a man on a horse, the picardor, whose aim is to place the pic, a pike pole, into the bull's back to punish him and yet strengthen the bull's resolve at the same time by letting the bull charge successfully and clearing the ring. I will explain more further on.

The second act is the time of the banderillero, men who run the bull with capes to exhaust the bull, and place banderillas, pairs of sharpened sticks into the bull's withers to fatigue the neck muscles so that the matador can kill successfully without the bull being able to raise its head and horns to block the sword.

The final act is the death, where the matador, the only man allowed to kill the bull, dominates the bull with the muleta, a scarlet cape on a stick, and finally kills with the sword.

It takes a team of 5 to 6 men actually to prepare, exhaust the bull before the matador can do his work. But it is the matador alone who faces death.

But the point is not the talk about all that. It's to talk about the horses, the horses the picadors ride to punish the bull. And this is the way they do it.

They allow the bull to charge and impale the horse before sticking in the pic. This usually is fatal.

Sometimes, the bull doesn't kill the horse, and you will see the horse gallop off, trailing its intestines and viscera on the ground, blindly assured by the piacador's knees that all is well. Horses, as you may know, react based on how they are ridden. That is why novice riders and those lacking confidence are more likely to be thrown off, whereas a man who knows what he is doing may convince a gutted horse to continue galloping. And then, sometimes, you will see the same horse being used for the next bull (they kill 6 bulls per fight. 2 bulls per matador.)

How is this possible, you ask, when the horse has been gored before and verily, you saw its guts spill on the ground? Very simple. To reduce the cost of losing two horses where one will do, they stuff the inside of the horse with sawdust and bring it back again. And since each fight is allocated a time span of 15 mins, that is how long the horse can survive with missing organs.

So a horse can survive for a period of time, even though it's insides may be ripped out, gored, torn out and missing. And then it has to go out and perform again.

I think, I, am starting to know what the horses went through.

And in conclusion...

The woman hit the owl over the head.

The woman hit the owl over the head.

The woman hit the owl over the head.

But if the bird wanted to be with you, it would come back to you.

post 58. calling Zhou lao shi

so, was feeling in the shits, which more discerning readers can pick up from the previous posts. and heck, i wanted to talk to him anyway cos i do kinda miss him.

it's kinda lonely practising on my own. we used to talk during our short breaks, and now all i have for company is my water bottle and mobile. not the most communicative of partners.

so i called him cos i missed him and cos i was feeling in the shits too. haha. intention was to talk a bit to him about my problem, but just hearing him talk to me prepped me up lots already, so in the end i didn't talk to him about it.

had a moment of shock though, when he actually called me by name. it was the first time he did so, and i always thought he doesn't remember my name cos he has so many students. when he called my name, had a brainfreeze and was frantically wondering what obscure chinese term he was using before i realised he was saying my name. maybe because i also don't allow many ppl to call me by my full name. (it's a thing with me: i only allow those people i really like to call me by my full name. or you have to be an elder. hah.)

for some obscure reason, i was quite touched.

but yeah, we yakked for almost an hour! thank god for phone cards. lol, he was quite chatty so i was wondering if he misses having someone to talk to. (hehe. my ego at work here). turns out things didn't work out as intended for him too.

but it's okay. we both can take it. (it being our respective problems. lol, in case that wasn't clear) ^^